| E' un'articolo del New York, mette i più o i meno alle varie cose della puntata 2.06...è in inglese, c'è un po' di mia traduzione riassuntiva per chi non capisce proprio ^____^ Non l'ho tradotta tutta perchp son un po' pigra, e in alcuno parti ho tradotto alla cavolo perchè non avevo capito il senso o non sapevo come rendere xD Coomunque, non sono brava a tradurre xD
Last night's Gossip Girl, titled "New Haven Can Wait," followed the antics of — let's face it — the entire class as they went up to visit "Yale." We'll take off appropriate points in the recap, but to be fair, we will announce in advance: There is no way for even such exquisite human machines as we to adequately tally the myriad of offenses committed by the CW of the college admissions process, which was almost as bizarre as the choice of Sensitive Touch, "your cosmetic laser," as a sponsor for last night's show.
(La scorsa notte sulla pruntata di GG intitolata "New Heaven Can Wait" i personaggi vanno a visitare Yale. Noi togliermo i punti approprieti nella recapitolazione, ma per essere chiari, annunciamo da subito che ci sono una miriade di errori commessi dalla CW nel processo di ammissione al college.)
To be fair, in addition, we should also warn you — this is one of two episodes this fall during which we are going to be really unforgivably obnoxious: Daily Intel editor Chris especially, since he actually went to Yale. Daily Intel Jessica's just making snide comments with a chip on her shoulder like her soul mate, Dan. (For instance, you'll notice that Chris totally didn't mention anything about the Skull and Bones at all, isn't that INTERESTING? Also, Rufus should totally let Jenny drop out of high school to pursue her passion at 15. If only Jessica had that chance! She would have a flourishing career as a professional pot smoker and doodler of sad-eyed fairies, and let us tell you, the world is a lesser place for that.)
(Per essere chiari dobbiamo subito avvisarti che questo è uno dei due episodi di questa stagione durante i quali saremo veramente imperdonabilmente detestabili: specialmente Chris, editore di Daily Inter, dato che è andò realmente a Yale. Jessica di Daily Inter fece dei commenti insinuanti con un chip nella sua spalla come la sua anima gemella, Dan. Per esempio, noterai che Chris non ha mai menzionato nulla che riguardi gli Skull and Bones, non è per caso interessante? Inoltre, Rufus lascia che Jenny lasci la scuola a 15 anni per seguire la sua passione. Se solo Jessica avesse avuto questa occasione! Avrebbe potuto avere una fantastica carriera come fumatrice d'erma e disegnatrice di fate dagli occhi tristi, e lascia che te lo dica, il mondo è il minor posto per questo)
No seriously anyway: Chris won't be too know-it-all-y, like he won't even deduct for the fact that Columbia was used as a surrogate (schlepping all that crew to Connecticut would be difficult, and exposing all that pricey fashion to the New Haven streets would just be foolhardy). And Jessica will keep the academic insecurity to a minimum. (Though she totally didn't read Love in the Time of Cholera, is that normal?)
(Ad ogni modo, non troppo seriamente: Chris non sarà il so-tutto-io e Jessica terrà l'insicurezza dell'accademico al minimo - pensare che non ha letto L'amore al Tempo del Colera può essere normale? )
As for the second episode that will instill our know-it-all obnoxiousness this fall? That, dear Upper East Siders, is the one thing we'll never tell.
As Real As Marc Jacobs Naming a Purse After the Random Trashy Blonde Socialite-of-the-Moment:
(è reale che Marc Jacobs dia il nome ad una borsa dopo la casuale bionda scadente ragazza-del-momento: )
• Perhaps the most honest, devastating moment in the entire episode is when Dorota delivers Blair her breakfast in bed on the day of her big Yale interview. Though Eleanor has been very specific about Blair's breakfast — appetite-suppressing Kombucha, we'll get to that later on — she's too busy squeezing more child labor out of Jenny to actually be there for the blessed day. Dorota can't hold it in and tells Blair, "I'm so proud of you!" A moment of extreme Wasp malfunction ensues, then Dorota holds up the "Page Six" featuring Serena, allowing them to both comfortably retreat into bitchiness. Plus 10.
(Forse il momento più devastante di tutto l'episodio è quando Dorota porta a Blair la colazione nel giorno del suo ricevimento a Yale. Penso che Eleanor sia stata troppo specifica nella colazione - tè del Kombucha, ecc - lei è troppo occupata per il lavoro minorile di Jenny per essere presente nel giorno benedetto. Dorota non può controllarsi e dice a Blair "sono così fiera di te!". Dopo Dorota prende "Page Six" con Serena, permettendoci di ritirare netrambe nella cattiveria. Più 10.)
• Can we just say that Jenny a.k.a. Taylor Momsen is SO genius at adolescent sulk? Possibly that is because she is actually 15 but still. Plus 1.
(Possiamo dire che Jenny sia così geniale da adolescente imbronciata? E' appena possibile perchè ha 15 anni. Più 1. )
•: Chuck has some line about creating your own Freshman Fifteen, which we totally don't hear. Commenters?
(Chuck ha molti versi per creare te stesso Matricola Quindici [?], cosa che noi non abbiamo mai sentito. Commenti?)
• UGH, honestly. Another Audrey Hepburn reference? This time Blair dreams of herself as a pre-reformation Eliza Doolittle, while Serena shows up as a refined version, dressed for the Ascot races. Plus 2 because the show is nothing if not consistent, but don't think we didn't notice those peonies on the table, out of season. Blair wouldn't dream wrong in flowers.
(UGH, onostamente. Un altro riferimento a Audrey Hepburn? Questa volta Blair sogna di se stessa coma una pre-riforma Eliza Doolitthe, mentre Serena si mostra in una versione raffinata, vestendosi per l'ascesa degli Ascot. Più 2 perchè lo show non è niente se non è coerente, ma non penso che noi non avremo notato quelle peonie sul tavolo, fuori dalla stagione. Blair non dovrebbe sognare i fiori sbagliati. )
• Regarding her Yale admissions visit, Blair assures Dorota: "If there's one thing I know, it's how to give good 'interview.'" Plus 3, because that "skill" is going to serve her so well when she becomes an assistant at CAA.
(Riguardo la sua visita di ammisione a Yale, Blair assicura Dorota: "Se c'è una cosa che so, è come fare una buona intervista" Più 3 perchè quell'"abilità" la servirà così bene quando le diventerà un assistente della CAA. )
• Lily appears in "Page Six" as Serena's "unidentified friend." "Page Six" would definitely know who Lily Bass is, but they'd also definitely try to block out any reminder of the fact that the hot eye candy they're featuring is underage. Plus 2.
(Lily appare nella "Page Six" come "un'identificata amica" di Serena. Invece "Page Six" dovrebbe sapere bene chi è Lily Bass, ma loro decisamente vorrebbero anche provare a coprire ogni ricordo del fatto che il caldo occhio dolce con cui compaiono è minorenne [?] )
• Dan is wearing a fruity Zara shirt to his interview day. Clearly he's sensed that Yale is looking for something a little, um, more snug-fitting than your average preppy. Plus 2.
(Dan veste una maglietta di Zara all'intervista. Chiaramente aveva sentito che Yale stava cercando per qualcosa un po' meno, um, più aderente del loro mediocre figlio di papà ) Più 2.
• Also, we'd just like to take a moment to appreciate the fact that Dan is still a cocky jerk to Chuck, despite the fact that Chuck caught him red-handed exploiting his dead-mother story. If this were any other teen drama, like if it were Seventh Heaven, for instance, which we've never seen but can imagine, then the character of Dan would have repented about that in some way. Like he would have approached Chuck and been all, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you" or whatever, but in a gruff, ungay way. And Chuck would have rebuffed him and there would have been some kind of misunderstanding, but still they would have given each other backward glances before the commercial break and it would have been clear Dan at least tried and was therefore redeemable. But in Gossip Girl, he just kind of like rationalizes it to himself or whatever allows him to continue to be a douche, just like a dude would in real life. Plus 4.
• Thank God at least Nate wants to go to USC. What, did Yale suddenly become the only school in America? Even the most successful private-school students know they have to diversify — not all of them will get into the same school. At least someone's parents would force them to apply early to Harvard. Plus 2, because clearly Nelly Yuki is in Cambridge with her parents this weekend.
• Citing some family connections, Chuck calls Yale Nate's "safety school." Plus 1, because that's always the case with some kids. But Minus 1 because didn't we already learn that Nate's dad, El Captain, went to Dartmouth?
(Citando alcune connessioni di famiglia, Chuck chiama Yale la "scuola di salvezza" di Nate. Più 1 berchè questo è sempre il caso con molti ragazzi. Ma meno 1 perchè non avevamo già saputo che il padre di Nate, il capitano, andò alla Dartmouth? )
• Blair calls Brown "an enclave of trustafarians and children of celebrities" who "major in drum circles and semiotics, whatever that is." Ha! So true. She also spits out stereotypical private-school phrases, like "Everyone knows that the only real Ivies are the holy trinity: Harvard, Yale, and Princeton," and "Have fun in Providence, you know, maybe you can get your hair dreadlocked while you're there." Plus 3 and a virtual high-five to Blair's writers! Can't one of the other characters rent them for an episode or something?
• Also, bonus for undermining "knowledge is power" for a generation of tweens. Power is tits and hair extensions, kids. Live it. Plus 1.
( Anche, bonus per compromettere "la conoscenza è potere" per la generazione di giovani. La potenza è tette e extension ai capelli, ragazzi. Vivetelo.)
• Dan gives the most obnoxious, pretentious interview ever. Plus 3. Those secret-society kids who beat him up and humiliated him were probably sent by the admissions director.
(Dan da la maggior detestabilità, pretenzioso di un'altra intervista. Quei ragazzi della società segreta che lo hanno picchiato e umiliato probabilmente sono stati mandati dal direttore dell'ammissione. )
• Of course that old perv of a professor would get all giddy about Serena, who is by the way wearing a boob tray and jeans. And later a midriff-baring dress that has totally GOT LYCRA in it. This is how Jessica got through college, incidentally. Plus 3.
• Chuck: "What's your answer to the dean's question?" Serena: "Uh, yes." Ha, slut. Plus 1.
(Chuck: "Qual'è la tua risposta alla domanda del preside?" Serena: "Oh, sì." Ha, putt*na.)
• Someone calls Nate Archibald's dad the "modern Milken." Plus 5, because clearly at least someone who writes for this show was born before 1985, which makes us feel moderately less pathetic. But then, isn't Mike Milken kind of still "the modern Milken"? It's not like he's dead. It's only been like twenty years. There you go again, Gossip Girl, picking us up and knocking us down again.
• Nate asked Dan, "Do you ever get tired of carrying around that chip on your shoulder?" Ooh, he got in his one zinger! What's he going to do for the rest of college? Plus 2.
(Nate chiede a Dan, "Sei mai stato stanco di portarti in giro quel chip sulla tua spalla?" Ooh, lui .... [zinger?]! Cosa farà per il resto del college? )
• Did Dan say "synonymous sex" just then? It sort of seems like he did. Plus 1 because he is that flustered. By the way, is it bad to swallow the bits of cork in wine?
• The Yale admissions office is on Hillhouse. Plus 1.
(L'ufficio di ammissione a Yale è a Hillhouse )
• The freaky girl in the floral-print dress at the dean's reception is a freegan. Durh. Plus 2. She's also a Wiccan, but that's 8 percent less funny to say out loud.
(La ragazza lentigginosa con un vestito floreale alla reception del preside è freegan [composto da free (libero) più vegan, vegano (o vegetaliano, come si preferiva una decina d'anni fa). Sono quelle persone che non solo non usano alcun prodotto animale, ma boicottano anche qualsiasi tipo di prodotto che ritengono contrario ai diritti umani (ad esempio, eviteranno i maglioni prodotti nei cosiddetti "sweatshops" del terzo mondo), o cose prodotte da industrie interessate solo al profitto]. Durh. E' anche Wiccan [seguace della religione Wicca, grosso modo una religione pagana che venera la natura, il sole, la luna, la terra ecc], ma questo è l'8 percento meno divertente da dire ad alta voce. )
• Blair once tackled Chuck Schumer's daughter at the Harvard-Yale game because she was wearing a Harvard sweatshirt? Touché — both of those chicks, and their dad, went to school in Cambridge. Plus 3.
• During their awesomely girlish fight outside the dean's office, Serena finally says to Blair what we've all been thinking: "I really hate that stupid headband!" Plus 5. (She also said something about a "chicken wing" that sounded great, but we couldn't hear it.)
• "Great Hoaxes in Archaeology" is a Yale course. Plus 5!
( "Le grandi Bufale dell'Archeologia" è un corso di Yale. )
• Lily says to Rufus, ""Eric has a new friend. So I hear." Plus 2, because it's about time. Eric, like all gays, knows only too well that you're only allowed to partake in the delicacy of sweet teenage fruits when you are one yourself. He's got to take advantage! And Plus another 2 because Lily would, of course, refer to his new beau as a "friend."
(Lily dice a Rufus "Eric ha un nuovo amico. Così ho sentito." E' arrivato il momento. Eric, come tutti i gay, sa fin troppo bene che sei permesso a partecipare alla delicatezza dei dolci giovani frutti solo se ne sei tu stesso uno. Ha avuto modo di trarre vantaggio! E Lily sicuramente voleva far riferimento al nuovo pretendendo come "amico" )
• OMG DID NATE AND DAN AND THAT GIRL HAVE A THREESOME?!! Plus 10.
(Nate e Dan e quella ragazza hanno fatto una cosa a tre?!?! )
Faker Than a "New Haven" Without Black People or Gays
• Okay, let's get these Yale/college issues over with quickly. The dean of admissions doesn't have a pre-application private reception. Minus 2. (Chris would have blackmailed a secretary with eighteenth-century ceramic cats to get in if there were.) Also, no one would have handwritten Serena van der Woodsen an invitation, especially not in fifth-grade-girl handwriting. Minus 2. Dan is worrying about his "ecru"-shaded résumé, which is hilarious — but one doesn't send a résumé with one's college application. One tries to fit all the quasi-made-up clubs one joined in high school into the ridiculous small box supplied on the application. Minus 2. You don't need two references by famous writers to get into Yale — you don't even need one. Minus 1.
• This deserves a separate point. Serena is a terrible student. The show talks about this incessantly. Much more famous kids than her want to go to Ivy League schools every year (hello, Haley Joel Osment??). They wouldn't be so gaga over her, no matter how shiny her hair is. Minus 3.
• Also, secret societies don't recruit freshmen, they're only for seniors (Minus 5).
(Le società segrete non reclutano le matricole, sono solo per i seniors).
• Serena's picture is way too big in "Page Six." There'd be a homophobic Sean Delonas cartoon occupying half that space. Minus 2.
• Why is Vanessa the boss of Rufus? Jenny should have had the shit grounded out of her after last episode. Minus 3.
(Perchè Vanessa è il boss di Rufus? Jenny dovrebbe avere la me*da che cresce vicino a lei dopo l'ultimo episodio. )
• Blair's essay is titled, "On Being Blair." Minus 4, because obviously a tutor would have written it for her and known better.
(Il saggio di Blair è intitolato "Sull'essere Blair". Meno 4, perchè ovviamente un tutore avrebbe scritto il saggio per lei e conosce meglio .)
• Blair's meltdown in front of the director of admissions? Including the kiss? She's too composed and clever for that. But we totally would have done it. So only Minus 3.
(La fusione di Blair di fronte al direttore di ammissione? Incluso il bacio? Se è troppo composta e intelligente per questo. Ma noi potremmo averlo fatto. )
• We understand why dim bulb Nate could only think of Dan's name when it came time to pretend he was someone else. But why would he adopt his entire identity? He could have just said he was a lacrosse player and that chick wouldn't have asked him what he thought about anything, much less Gabriel García Márquez. Minus 2
• Even Serena knows better than to wear a skanky-ass top like that to a college interview. When she bent over, it was like you were looking down the return shoot at a bowling alley! Minus 2.
(Anche Serena sa meglio ch
• Where did Chuck get hookers in New Haven?? Minus 5. And since when are there that many straight guys in a room at Yale? Minus 5.
(Chuck dove trova le battone in New Heaven? E da quando ci sono così tanti ragazzi "dritti" in una stanza di Yale? )
• There's no "Mike's Bar" in New Haven. All college bars have ridiculous Irish names, or at the very least something with the word "keg" in it. Doesn't everybody know that? Minus 1.
(Non ci sono "Mike's Bar" nel New Haven. Tutti i bar del college hanno un ridicolo nome irlandese, o proprio al massimo qualcosa con la parola "keg". Nessuno lo sa? )
• Blair would have known better than to have Serena talk about Peter Fairman, the dude she "killed," at the admissions event. Remember when Blair got her to admit (falsely, in defense of suicide-ridden Eric) that she was in rehab at the beginning of season one? Serena totally turned that around into the best college bait, ever. Obviously she would turn this around, too. Minus 5, because "I killed a dude" is the only better college-essay topic we can think of than "I went to rehab at 16."
• Blair would not have thrown that clutch. Minus 3, because Serena's extensions would have never gotten out of the buckle clasp.
• Since when is Jenny so eager to pimp out her dad to Lily? She's like 14, and her parents just got divorced. Even though she wants to keep her job, she has to still harbor the vain hope that her parents might get back together. Or at least Dan and Serena! It's idiotic hopes like that that get kids through puberty — like the idea that pets go to Heaven and your parents aren't going to incinerate your stuffed animals the minute you go to college and turn your room into a "den." Minus 4.
• Chuck sics the Skull and Bones on Dan instead of Nate, but how did he know where Dan would be? Minus 1.
(Chuck indica agli Skull and Bones Dan invece di Nate, ma come sa dov'era Dan? )
• Dudes, it's a college campus. Dan would have been tied up naked. Minus 3, for their sakes and ours.
• The TA lady knows how to untie a knot because "my mother was in the Navy." No. Minus 1.
(La ragazza del TA sa come scioglere un nodo perchè "mia madre era in Marina". No. )
• Nobody, not even Blair and Serena, has hair that looks that good after a fight. Blair didn't even use her Mary Janes to try to poke Serena's eyes out! Minus 3.
(Nessuno, neanche Blair e Serena, hanno dei capelli che sembrano così belli dopo una lotta. Blair non ha neanche usato le sue Mary Janes (le scarpe) per provare a far uscire gli occhi di Serena! )
• Blair's hat totally clashes with her dress in the final scene. Minus 2, because, like, barf.
(Il cappello di Blar si scontra completamente con il suo vestito nella scena finale. Meno 2 perchè, come vomito. )
Okay, anybody out there know anything about Skull and Bones? Because Chris isn’t talking.
(Okay, qualcuno la fuori sa qualcosa sugli Skull and Bones? Perchè Chris non sta parlando ).
Ma qualcuno sa cosa vuol dire Freshman Fifteen? Quindici Matricole? E cosa vuol dire? o.o
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